Freshwater Sharks Bite Children at 35th Beach. A Play

Russ Osantowski                Carter Elementary
                               5740 S. Michigan Ave.
                               Chicago IL 60637
                               (312) 535-0860

Objectives:  

     This lesson is for 2-12th grades.  Students will learn about the many 
different scientific occupations as well as some possible specializations 
therein, and perhaps a little bit of other life considerations, ecological, 
financial, educational, sociological, and emotional as to greed, avarice, truth 
justice and the American Way.  It integrates biology, physics, drama, chemistry, 
genetics engineering areas, etc. 

Materials Needed:  

     3x5 cards.  That's all really.  But, you are probably reading this on a 
computer so you will have to transfer the parts to 3x5 cards.  Therefore you 
will need access to printer, scissors, and glue or a printer and laminator to 
print, cut and glue the parts of this play onto 3x5 cards or to just print or
photocopy, cut and laminate this play. 

Strategy: 

     Other than on career day it is hard to transmit the enthusiasm and thinking 
involved of a professional educated person pursuing their knowledge and their 
detective-like dedication in this full-run headlong pursuit.  By putting these 
cards and more in the hands of students, each one will have a new and 
interesting part to play, will see a glimmer of how complex our ever increasing 
store of knowledge and our society is and will be motivated to want to make a   
more relevant concentration in their education.
     The setting of the play is a sort of "town meeting" or in this case, a 
public meeting attended by the Chicago ward committeeman who is also a Chicago 
city building inspector, and other people in the neighborhood of the 35th street 
beach, 60% of whom are shouting that something has to be done to save "Our 
Children, Our Future" (which is the present motto of the Chicago Board of 
Education). 
     Be or appoint a moderator for this discussion.  Tell the students that they 
must observe, take notes and write 1-5000 paragraphs on what is happening in 
this meeting what the thoughts are of the people there, what they said, where 
they are coming from, going to and what type of person they are, by writing a 1 
paragraph character sketch of each person.  They must write about 1-30 
characters in the play. 
     Here are the parts to be glued on the front and sometimes back of 3x5 
cards, or just laminated from the printed or photocopied page.



Pro shark.  SHARKS NEVER HAVE CANCER AND THEY 
EAT EVERYTHING THAT CAUSES CANCER.  In fact I 
have been FEEDING THEM CANCEROUS LIPS AND 
LUNGS removed from smokers and many human 
cancerous body parts removed by local surgeons 
as well as fish with cancer.  I have injected 
live cancer cells into them and they never get 
it.  As a microbiologist I think I HAVE FOUND 
ALL of the ANTIBODIES in a shark THAT PREVENT 
CANCER from growing.  As a marine biologist I 
have been researching for these antibodies 
that their bodies make and I'm trying to 
synthesize them. 

Pro shark.  I am an Ecologist.  The previous 
invasions of the lamprey eel and the zebra  
shell mussels haven't done any appreciable 
damage.  Let's wait and see, the cures might 
pollute the water.  In fact, the last invasion 
is clearing up not only the Great Lakes, but 
also the Mississippi River.  And, it is 
providing a possible new food source, for 
certain fish, so the zebra mussels have proved 
to be very beneficial in the long run for 
water reservoirs, as free hardworking 
purifiers. 

Pro shark.  I am a cytologist.  I have 
discovered how the shark's cells repel cancer.  
I feel I can clone these cells and inject them 
into humans to replicate and cure cancer.  
Like all scientists, I will need several 
freshly caught sharks everyday for the next 
five to ten years to finish my research. 

Pro shark.  I am a chemist and have found that 
sharks have a chemical in their body made near 
or in their (liver?) that keeps them hungry 
most of the time.  My niece is very thin 
because of anorexia nervosa.  If I can isolate 
and synthesize that chemical, I can sell it 
worldwide to doctors to treat that disease. I 
always wanted a mail order business that was a 
guaranteed moneymaker.  More importantly, so 
does my wife.  The mentally ill (neurotic) 
anorexic people will always be with us so our 
new business will be recession proof.  The 
fisherman delivers daily.  


Pro shark.  I'm a physicist.  I'm freezing 
different sharks, making molds of them and 
filling the molds with different liquid 
combinations to equal exact scaled down models 
made of real airplane materials of equal mass.  
I then suspend them in wind tunnels to test 
for a new jet design.  

Pro shark.  When night falls, I am the 
fisherman.  I know people are afraid of the 
sharks, and I catch them at night by using 
bloodball bait and nets and hooks that I have 
shot out with a crossbow at night.  I come 
back just before dawn, haul in my catch, throw 
it into a large body bag in my trunk and await 
my calls on my cellular phone while I have 
breakfast at the IIT cafeteria.  I am parked 
at the IIT lot across the street.  I'm 
wondering about getting my lazy brother-in-law 
to do the same for Loyola, DePaul, 
Northwestern, U. of Illinois, and Roosevelt 
professors.  

Pro Shark. I am a virologist and I have 
designed a virus to carry the all purpose 
virus I found in the freshwater sharks that 
keep them from ever getting ill.  They never 
die from illness.  They only die when bitten 
by accident in a feeding frenzy and then they 
are eaten by other sharks. I designed a human 
virus to carry this virus into human cells to 
take over the mitochondria and to make these 
protective viruses so humans will live longer 
or maybe forever. 

I am a virologist and I have designed a virus 
to carry over the genetic cell design for 
reproduction of teeth to the human body so 
that we will keep growing new teeth and we 
will never ever have to see a dentist in our 
lifetime. 

I am a chef and I have 67 proven recipes for 
shark fin soup, etc.  I'm working on creating 
new ones and I'm writing them down so I can 
write and sell my cookbook worldwide. 

I'm a marina owner and I have rented out 25 
more spaces to charter boat captains.  This is 
$50,000.00 extra income in boat rental dock 
and drydock fees, per year.  I now spend the 
winter in Florida and let my son run it during 
winter arthritis time. 


As a geneticist I've found a variant gene on 
chromosome 17 that is psoriasis susceptible  
causing cells to divide at a faster rate and 
never mature.  I can see the normal 
development easier in a shark's cells and  
gain clues as to what is needed for normal 
growth. 

As a Chicago licensing official whose brother-
in-law is a building inspector.  Boat owners, 
new restauranteurs, and commercial fishermen 
are pounding on my door with money in their 
hands.  New hotels are going up on 35th street 
and they need liquor, food and other licenses.  
I own 4 vacant lots on 35th street. 

Antishark.  I am Sister Teresa and I run the 
Catholic orphanage on 35th street with 3000 
children of wading and swimming age. 

I'm a mother of 15 children, ages 1-15 and we 
live next to the 35th street beach. My 
children love to swim and sailboard there. 

Pro or anti shark.  I am Mrs. Know-It-All.  I  
interrupt people, and say things like, "I know 
where you're coming from," and that "You 
scientists are nothing but educated fools," or 
"It's about time we had some meaningful 
research done once and for all and children 
should not stop progress, they should be in 
school all summer anyhow."  WRITE YOUR OWN 
SPEECH AS QUICK AS YOU CAN.  WRITE MORE IF YOU 
WANT TO. 

Neutral.  As an engineer in the Army Corps of 
Engineers, I'm in charge of the shoreline and 
all inland waterways including all rivers.  If 
an underwater fence is put up by the beach to 
stop sharks from biting and eating parts of 
swimmers, it would cause many people to lose 
their lakeshore homes at the southern tip of 
Lake Michigan in Ill. and Ind. unless you 
spend $1,000,000,000.00 to build a jetty due 
east to prevent beach erosion.  Your taxes 
will go up to pay for this.